A real shotgun wedding - Pt.1
I spoke to the family this past weekend and my stepmother was practically frothing at the mouth asking when she could be a part of a wedding and when babies would come. I told her to ask The Beard and was not surprised when she asked me to put him on the horn. The Beard was saved by the bell, however, when my father bellowed from the background that it wasn't fair to put the man on the spot.
But, never fear, my stepmom has other tricks up her sleave. For her birthday, which is coming in October, she told me that she will ask for a shotgun. She will use that shotgun to drag Never teh Bride and The Beard to Georgia, where she will (allegedly) drug us and tell a justice of the peace that we're cousins.
Everyone is kin in Georgia, I suppose.