Another grey hair
Yeah. Never teh Bride found another grey hair this morning when putting up her locks in her usual pre-wash matronly bun. This was, of course, a total bummer, particular as it closely followed a marriage-related discussion with The Beard in which no minds were changed.
To the left, you can see an artist's rendering of myself and The Beard in wedding attire. I'm kidding, I'm sure you knew. I would never have a flower half the size of my head incorporated into my hairdo. And I'm no fan of carnation corsages, either. Seriously, though, folks, during our conversation, The Beard admitted to thinking about a marriage that involved both of us. I was careful to ask whether he thought about it with anxiety or excitement.
He said excitement, but also noted that he simply doesn't feel ready for marriage because he is still a student (he is a late bloomer) and doesn't have a steady job (he's a sometimes bartender with a trust fund).
The Beard also brought up something that he has said in the past: that he doesn't want to commit to marriage until he feels he would be able to care for me, financially. Yes, his intentions are noble. Distressing, but noble.
I, in turn, told him of my fears that I would get to be past my prime before he felt he was ready to take the plunge and then would choose a younger mate. And that he might not take a new mate, but my uterus would be tired and shrivelled and unusable. I also discussed how living in the liberal northeast has lowered my chances of getting hitched and given me all sorts of friends that believe marriage is just a piece of paper, etc. Hey, guys, I support you in your unmarried bliss! It just isn't the lifestyle for Never teh Bride!
When I told him that I wasn't really trying to pressure him (after all, a man tricked or cajoled into marriage wouldn't make a very good husband!), he answered that he wasn't uncomfortable with my discussing marriage when I felt like it. Apparently, in whatever ways I feel like it. I even went so far as to admit that living together without being married makes me a little uncomfortable sometimes.
And then I found a grey hair. You can draw your own conclusions as to how I'm feeling.