7.06.2005

Yes, more funny stuff

What does a girl do while waiting for a man to propose? Keep herself laughing, of course.

The celebrant noticed that the bride was in great distress so asked her what was wrong. She replied that she was nervous and afraid she would not remember what to do. The celebrant told her that she only needed to remember 3 things.
First the aisle, because that is what you'll be walking down.
Secondly, the alter because that is where you will arrive.
Finally, remember hymn because that is a type of song we will sing during the service.
While the bride was walking to the wedding march, family and friends of the groom were horrified to hear her repeating these 3 words. . . Aisle, alter hymn; Aisle, alter hymn

Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence?
Wife to Husband: I'm looking for a loophole

The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him.They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he'd put an end to things by saying boldly, "After our second child, I'll just have a vasectomy."Without a moments hesitation, the bride retorted, "Well, I hope you'll love the third one just as if it's your own."

As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband's ranch. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband NEVER to touch it.
For fifty years Uncle Jack left the box alone until Aunt Edna was old and dying. One day when he was putting their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it might hold something important. Opening it, he found two doilies and $82,500 in cash.
He took the box to her and asked about the contents.
"My mother gave me that box the day we married," she explained. "She told me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every time I got mad at you."
Uncle Jack was very touched that in 50 years she'd only been mad at him twice.
"What's the $82,500 for?" he asked.
"Oh, that's the money I made selling the rest of the doilies."

A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamondring he had ever seen. He asked her about it.
"This is the Klopman diamond," she said. "It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it."
"What's the curse?" the man asked.
"Mr. Klopman."

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