A waistline your friends will envy

Sometimes I ask myself why people persist in stuffing themselves into unflattering wedding gowns. The only reason I can think of is that they just don't know. I'm no Angelina Jolie and I'm okay with that. My arms aren't as lithe and lovely as I know they could be, if I simply had enough willpower to hit the weights. I'm short and almost stumpy. Which is why, of course, I would not put myself into anything with thick straps that fell at my shoulders. Ladies, wide straps are going to make you look thick unless your weight falls somewhere between feather and envelope. Or you're 5'11".

And where is the waist on this dress? If one is not blessed with a waist, I believe one ought to create one via illusions, mirrors, and clever lighting. Whatever it takes. No, really, it's not that difficult. A nice princess sort of cut (can you tell I'm biased?) and voila! A waistline all your friends will envy!


At 8:08 PM, Blogger Juan el Descuartizador said...

Are you a wedding dress designer? O_o

At 10:24 AM, Blogger Never teh bride said...

Nope! Just a concerned citizen!

At 6:44 PM, Blogger CheekyMoo said...

This made me giggle. A concerned citizen. If you scroll back a few blogs on mine you'll see my deformed arms. I've been trying on dresses considering walking that plank. I must be a size 6 and fix my arms first.

At 10:49 AM, Blogger Never teh bride said...

Pshaw. Don't listen to her. Her arms rock!

At 7:26 AM, Anonymous purse said...

I loved your blog.

At 2:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is this that guy who was selling the wedding dress on eBay? Maybe the back is open so he could get into it.

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