The Beard offensive - The Shock
In any war, there exists the potential for strategy. In the battle of the sexes, where matrimony is involved, the strategy must be subtle and sneaky and as smooth as possible. Or so we, as ladies, have been told all our lives in sitcoms and old "being a girl" manuals from the 1950's. Don't pick up that phone, girls, until at least three days after your first date. And so on.
So, when I receive notice that yet another couple of my acquaintance has fallen in the battle, I naturally begin wondering why I have not yet been dragged off that cliff. The announcement came just a day before The Beard's and my three year anniversary, via cutesy dual livejournal posts where they parroted each other about becoming engaged and fall weddings and that sort of thing. Meanwhile, I'm sitting at work wondering, as usual, why not me? I mean, according to the hypothetical adult life I carefully crafted in my mind during my college years, I should already be married and toting one baby on my hip. What gives?
Anyway, when I noticed the announcement, I quickly shot off an e-mail to The Beard explaining my shock and awe and wonderment. No pressure, really, dear. But look what all the other cool kids are doing! Let's do it! Let's fall in love! But, of course, nothing. I'm not surprised. There has been oblique talk of marriage...always so roundabout and ethereal that it is easy to imagine us old and feeble and The Beard crouching down on one creaky knee, only to utter, "Never teh Bride, will you..." before kicking the bucket.
What to do, what to do? Other than keep at it, I mean. I'll never understand this modern distrust of marriage. So all our parents were divorced...sometimes multiple times. So infidelity has practically become the norm. So the divorce rates apparently keep rising and rising . What's that got to do with me? I thought all us young hipsters, in any generation, just plowed ahead, vowing to do better than our fantastically ignorant parents. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't, but doubt isn't supposed to hold us back. Maybe The Beard is just getting too old...too thoughtful. Perhaps taking the matrimonial plunge requires a certain sense of heady youth and optimism now lacking in the mid-twenties cynic. It would certainly explain a lot.