It has happened again. Two people who are known to both The Beard and myself have announced their engagement and pending nuptuals. So, being vastly interested in the topic of matrimony, I, upon finding this out, yell into the other room where The Beard is playing video games, "The Moos are getting married!"

"Hey, that's great," he answers.

The Moos even drew a little comic of themselves watching a beautiful sunrise, a stick figure proposal, a ringed left hand, and the subsequent Castle Greyskull sandcastle. Grrr.

So, Beard, I'm thinking to myself, if it's that great, why haven't you asked me to be your lawfully wedded wife.

Doesn't "all your friends are doing it" mean anything anymore? Is peer pressure dead? I rue the day I decided that I would surround myself with progressive liberals who think marriage is just an extension of traditional gender roles that need to be done away with at all costs. Sure, I love a man who knows how to wash a dish, but aren't we taking things just a little too far? Isn't there a time when stepping it up a notch (BAM!) seems prudent?

Well, it seems some people think so...people all around me. Maybe it's just not The Beard's bag. I'd hate to have to leave him for that but eventually, I suppose sadly, it would come to that.


At 8:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We got engaged in Mexico at an all-inclusive resort... maybe that would help you?

Seriously, if I may ask: do you know that The Beard is the right guy for you, or do you just wanna get married? I knew about 4 months into my relationship with my now-fiance that this was the guy I was going to end up with. I didn't know when, but I knew this was it.

Yours truly,
October bride

At 11:30 AM, Blogger Never teh bride said...

Thanks for the tip, October ;-)

I never just wanted to get married. In fact, I spent a great deal of my young adult life thinking marriage was for wankers and people who wanted to become slaves to the patriarchal system.

But when I met The Beard, I suddenly saw that a relationship could be a partnership. And by partnership, I mean a unit wherein two people have each others' backs and are each others' biggest fans. Maybe it's silly, but the world is a weird place, but it's a whole lot better when two are standing firm against it.

Uh, where was I? I know this is it, but I also know love is a verb and a noun. It's work, but the best sort.

At 10:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, you are definitely not alone. My boyfriend and I have been talking about getting married and how our wedding would be like for over half a year and still nothing. He keeps on saying 'We should get married before ...' but he never actually asked and I won't ask. When we were in Paris on the Eiffeltower he started to plan our wedding again and I said 'Listen, planning our wedding when we are not even engaged is just taunting me' - his response 'Well, I guess I am just not ready to be engaged' ...

I really don't know what to read into this. A friend of mine who has been waiting and dropping hints for 4 (!) years explained that her boyfriend wouldn't mind getting married to her if he wouldn't have to buy an expensive engagement ring and do the whole proposing thing and then also having to pay for the wedding and the whole planning. I think that's the case with lot's of men, they want to marry you but the whole thought of organising it seems way too stressful, so they decide to not bother at all.
Of course some guys are really NOT READY in a sense that they never will be. I read something about this once - it said you should clearly let the guy know that you are ready to be engaged but say it in a nice, reasonable voice and explain that you don't want to rush him but that it is important to you. Then give him a year to get used to the thought of being your future husband. If he loves you enough, he will start to really like the thought of you celebrating your love together or if he is really anti-wedding, he will find a solution, like a small wedding. After a year - if nothing happens, have another talk and tell him that for you, being married is essential and that you can't waste your life waiting. If he then doesn't soon make an effort, it might just be time to leave.

Good luck!
A - Never The Bride2

At 9:53 PM, Anonymous Never teh Bride said...

Thanks, NtB2! Good luck to you, too!


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